Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Falling in love...humm
Falling in love had a strange and exciting path for me.There was the love for my mother . The love for my sisters,And then things got alittle more complicated.I remember the crush I had with my kindergarden teacher-Ms.Mahony.She was like the love of my mothers kindness but excitingly different-not unlike the photos of women on my dad's work bench in the garage.Soft,curvy and beautiful.Then there was my first kiss when I was 9 years old-she lived in the apartment across from my mothers after the divorce.She was beautful and my age-I just remember kissing her and the feeling of floating occured.I still dont know if I kissed her lips or her cheek,that is how soft she was.I remember telling my brother John and he asked me if I french kissed her-I blushed and said No!
When I got to sixth grade things changed-we started playing keep away with the girls brushes back then so there was alot of touching and petting going on -that's when I really discovered the opposite sex.We had a new girl friend every week but there was no jealousy.We were all still friends and had spin the bottle parties pretty often to swap spit.
When I got into 7th grade that all changed-I went to junior high and a new school.New people from different elemetaries and girls more developed.Unbelieveable how we train our selves early-at least for me.So the first real feelings I had of jealousy (competing for girls attention)was at a school dance and the prettiest girl in the school asked me to dance with her.She was an 8th grader and a foot tall than me.The song was babe from styx.Her name was Tina and I fell in love instantly.All my friends could'nt believe we were together.I was on top of the world! I was 13 years old.We went steady after that for quite awhile because she was the head cheer leader on my football team and I was the runningback.
I just remember feeling protective of her from other guys the longer we went out and the more attention she got-made me insecure.Did'nt like the feeling at all.So it was inevitable-she broke my heart.
We went to a high school home coming and she dumped me for a high school guy.Gave my jacket back and left me weeping;So sad'''
Well,lost my virginity in the summer of 8th grade thanks to alcohol-there was alot of peer pressure to do that in my circles.Not real proud of it but was relieved then-I would even venture to thank her.I don't think I was her first.
Then came the clicks and circles of friends.Mostly I hung out with the football croud and that lead to girls from different schools.The first friends girl I wanted was michele-she was a little ska girl and very cute-but I knew it was wrong.He caught me at her house one time and I just never had the heart to pursue it any further.That was the first time I felt the feelings of betrayal.She married another friend of mine and they are living happily-no harm no foul.
In High school ,matters changed.I went to a different high school in 10th grade so it took me two years of courage just to ask agirl out from the same school.Shannon was diffently a love of mine but could never quite get as close as I would have liked to.We dated for a while but just never fell in love.Too bad - she was always cool to be around.
After high school-lust kicked in pretty fast-looking for companionship and getting out of self by way of sex and drugs seemed like the only option for me.I graduated from high school when I was 17 and was on my own as soon as I did.Pretty scarry.The world was way too big for me and just not ready to grow up just then so self medicated to just fit in.Mostly just booze and sex.
When I got to sixth grade things changed-we started playing keep away with the girls brushes back then so there was alot of touching and petting going on -that's when I really discovered the opposite sex.We had a new girl friend every week but there was no jealousy.We were all still friends and had spin the bottle parties pretty often to swap spit.
When I got into 7th grade that all changed-I went to junior high and a new school.New people from different elemetaries and girls more developed.Unbelieveable how we train our selves early-at least for me.So the first real feelings I had of jealousy (competing for girls attention)was at a school dance and the prettiest girl in the school asked me to dance with her.She was an 8th grader and a foot tall than me.The song was babe from styx.Her name was Tina and I fell in love instantly.All my friends could'nt believe we were together.I was on top of the world! I was 13 years old.We went steady after that for quite awhile because she was the head cheer leader on my football team and I was the runningback.
I just remember feeling protective of her from other guys the longer we went out and the more attention she got-made me insecure.Did'nt like the feeling at all.So it was inevitable-she broke my heart.
We went to a high school home coming and she dumped me for a high school guy.Gave my jacket back and left me weeping;So sad'''
Well,lost my virginity in the summer of 8th grade thanks to alcohol-there was alot of peer pressure to do that in my circles.Not real proud of it but was relieved then-I would even venture to thank her.I don't think I was her first.
Then came the clicks and circles of friends.Mostly I hung out with the football croud and that lead to girls from different schools.The first friends girl I wanted was michele-she was a little ska girl and very cute-but I knew it was wrong.He caught me at her house one time and I just never had the heart to pursue it any further.That was the first time I felt the feelings of betrayal.She married another friend of mine and they are living happily-no harm no foul.
In High school ,matters changed.I went to a different high school in 10th grade so it took me two years of courage just to ask agirl out from the same school.Shannon was diffently a love of mine but could never quite get as close as I would have liked to.We dated for a while but just never fell in love.Too bad - she was always cool to be around.
After high school-lust kicked in pretty fast-looking for companionship and getting out of self by way of sex and drugs seemed like the only option for me.I graduated from high school when I was 17 and was on my own as soon as I did.Pretty scarry.The world was way too big for me and just not ready to grow up just then so self medicated to just fit in.Mostly just booze and sex.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
more about myself
Flash back to Concord.When I was 19 years old,a figure of light filled my room and said to me that he was Jesus Christ and would be with me now and always!This comforted my soul greatly but I still did not find the church.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Where I'm from cont.
So back to the suburbs where my dad and step mother found a second home called the Hawaiian room.A bar down the street from where we lived.They , literally,went there every night for about 11 years.We as children would have to go down there to get money for dinner most nights.The first time I remember really praying was for my father.He had gotten into a fight with some three guys after a high school football game.I was over his best friends house at the time and in the back yard I began to pray"God please don't take my dad".I was 10 years old and it worked.!
Don;t get me wrong,I loved my dad dearly,but I could never understand why someone so smart did not believe in God.Why he was so bent on self destruction.Still can't.He was very craring and honest also/Very baffling to me.
Mostly normal school attendance and sports activities thoughout school years.Played baseball for 5 years.Football for 5 years and golfed and surfed for many years afterwards.
We move a town over in 10th grade so I had to change high schools.That was trying to me because I only knew two people in the whole school and I was dreadfully shy in those days.but that's when I had another spiritual expreience and was introduced to the book of Mormon.
T he spiritual experience came with a witness.My little sister Kim.We shared a room together for a year because my grand mother was ill and needed to live with us.We were laying down for the night when as soon as we turned the lights off we began to hear whispering.And these whisperings were uttering my name!We turned the lights on-searched the house,but nobody there...very creepy to us.
Don;t get me wrong,I loved my dad dearly,but I could never understand why someone so smart did not believe in God.Why he was so bent on self destruction.Still can't.He was very craring and honest also/Very baffling to me.
Mostly normal school attendance and sports activities thoughout school years.Played baseball for 5 years.Football for 5 years and golfed and surfed for many years afterwards.
We move a town over in 10th grade so I had to change high schools.That was trying to me because I only knew two people in the whole school and I was dreadfully shy in those days.but that's when I had another spiritual expreience and was introduced to the book of Mormon.
T he spiritual experience came with a witness.My little sister Kim.We shared a room together for a year because my grand mother was ill and needed to live with us.We were laying down for the night when as soon as we turned the lights off we began to hear whispering.And these whisperings were uttering my name!We turned the lights on-searched the house,but nobody there...very creepy to us.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Where I'm from
Free giveaway at modern dining room furniture
I was born and raised in Califoria.The sixth of seven children.My first memory was flying like superman off the coffee table and busting my lip open(still have the scare).
I remember Christmas' and riding my bicycle with the other kids in a new community outside of Los angeles.It was 1971 and I was 4 years old and everything was pretty normal.I knew right from wrong and believed in God at that age-I kid you not!It was'nt until 7 years old when things got alittle wierd. I say that because that's when my parents got devorced.
I moved to a city closer to Los angeles with my brother Kelly and my Father.My Dad decided that he did'nt want the white picket fence anymore and got hooked up with a girl 13 years yonger than him.He decided he wanted to drink more so he did.The town was Cuduhy(crudehay)and I hated it.But I loved my Dad and brother so I decided to stick it out.Cudahy was riddled with gang violence even in 1974.The school I went to had hall monitors so that you could'nt even go to the bathroom alone.Pretty scarry for a kid like me(hypersensitive).We lasted about a year there and moved back to the suburbs.(thank God)
Flash back-My first spiritual experience happened to me when I was 6 years old.I was sick with the flu and could not sleep well that night.I woke up in the middle of the night to a blue dressed apparition lady floating in the air.She was crying.I felt sad in my heart for her,and I felt she was sad for me.I was sleeping with my sister at the time so I tried to wake her up.When I did this the lady left the room though the roof.I'll never forget that.Later , my brother and sister both saw her again.I remember being able to see though her dress for she had no shame.
I was born and raised in Califoria.The sixth of seven children.My first memory was flying like superman off the coffee table and busting my lip open(still have the scare).
I remember Christmas' and riding my bicycle with the other kids in a new community outside of Los angeles.It was 1971 and I was 4 years old and everything was pretty normal.I knew right from wrong and believed in God at that age-I kid you not!It was'nt until 7 years old when things got alittle wierd. I say that because that's when my parents got devorced.
I moved to a city closer to Los angeles with my brother Kelly and my Father.My Dad decided that he did'nt want the white picket fence anymore and got hooked up with a girl 13 years yonger than him.He decided he wanted to drink more so he did.The town was Cuduhy(crudehay)and I hated it.But I loved my Dad and brother so I decided to stick it out.Cudahy was riddled with gang violence even in 1974.The school I went to had hall monitors so that you could'nt even go to the bathroom alone.Pretty scarry for a kid like me(hypersensitive).We lasted about a year there and moved back to the suburbs.(thank God)
Flash back-My first spiritual experience happened to me when I was 6 years old.I was sick with the flu and could not sleep well that night.I woke up in the middle of the night to a blue dressed apparition lady floating in the air.She was crying.I felt sad in my heart for her,and I felt she was sad for me.I was sleeping with my sister at the time so I tried to wake her up.When I did this the lady left the room though the roof.I'll never forget that.Later , my brother and sister both saw her again.I remember being able to see though her dress for she had no shame.
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